The character “House” is my hero.  I know he’s an ass.  But he says everything he wants to. 

Last weekend, we all went to the snow for the day.  It was incredibly fun even though Nick beaned me in the head with an iceball.  My head is still bruised.  Dude…I guess since he had never been around snow he didn’t have enough sense to check to see what he was throwing. 

And the whole time we were there all I could think was, “I don’t belong here.  Bob and I don’t belong together.  We are just friends.  This is wrong.”

UGH.  Made for a long week.  And some intense email counseling sessions.  It was pointed out to me that I am mourning the loss of my friend too and am extremely conflicted.  Ya think?

So this Saturday, Bob and I had to sit down and talk after a small crisis.  I didn’t tell him what I thought that day in the snow but we did talk.  It all just boils down to time.  It’s just going to take time and patience.  And some perseverence.  I’m having a hard time with knowing that some people are not happy about our relationship.  I don’t really blame them but they also don’t understand it either.  And because they haven’t walked in either one of our shoes, they couldn’t possibly know.  It doesn’t stop them from being all judgmental about it.  Oh well…I guess that’s the way it goes. 

We did talk somewhat how very different we are with each other than we have been with anyone else.  For him, he has a hard time comparing me to Vickey and that’s understandable.  But he appreciates how I treat him completely differently than she did.  He says it kind of unnerves him sometimes because he doesn’t know what to make of it or how to react.  His words were it scared him.   And I’ve told him that it scares me how much I actually do care for him.  UGH. 

One day at a time.  One day at a time.

Seriously.  I hate kids. 

So Saturday morning, I got up at 7 a.m.  Went outside to see Cherissa’s boyfriends car still at my house.  AFTER I had explicity said that he would not be permitted to stay the night.  ARGH…First of all, I’m not pleasant in the morning.  Ever.  Second of all — the girl has been here a week and she’s testing me like this?  Really?  Fortunately for them Bob forced me to shower before I adressed them.  I think it might have saved their lives.

And my son.  Holy shit.  I’m going to kill him.  He’s not being bad as much as the attitude is pissing me off.  The smart ass mouth (yes mom I can hear you laughing), the insolent attitude.  I have never really even spanked Nick.  Never really had to…and I always said I wouldn’t hit him (it sucks getting hit)…but I smacked him in the head today, and pulled his hair all the while leaning in his face saying, “I will kill you today if you don’t stop.”  Yeah…mother of the year award is not coming my way.  And once I showed him that I was truly pissed, it’s like the attitude switched off.  WTH — was that a, “Let me see exactly what she will tolerate…” moment? 

And oh…jealousy of attention isn’t reserved for dogs.  Nick is jealous of Cherissa.  Nick is jealous of Bob.  Nick is jealous of Bob’s kids.  He’s declared that no one is allowed to come to dinner for an entire week because we’ve had people over 3 times this week.  And he’s sick of it.  It’s okay that his friends are here, and his friends spent the night but he’s tired of anyone that he didn’t explicitly invite being here.  Uhhh…when you pay the freaking mortgage and buy the groceries, you can determine who gets to come over.

Yep.  I hate kids.